


blue bathed in moonlight (i need you so much closer)

by neverwantedtodance



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Coming of Age, F/F, Introspection, Kissing, Post-Canon, Underage Drinking, it's not really humour more like maki being a self-depreciating Fuck, this is basically vodka and feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4799561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverwantedtodance/pseuds/neverwantedtodance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Can you get to Otonokizaka now?” Eli’s voice was definitely way too clear and upbeat for this time of night.<br/>“It’s early,” she said plainly, not bothering to answer the question.<br/>“So you’ll be there?”<br/>Maki sighs. It’s not as if she has anything more interesting to do.<br/>“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”</p><hr/><p>Graduation is just around the corner, and Maki is restless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blue bathed in moonlight (i need you so much closer)

**Author's Note:**

> idk what i'm doing this is shit but the world needs more makeli in it

Their third year came by quickly, like a powerful gust of wind. That was the closest thing Maki could liken it to – it almost blew her away with sheer force. And she wasn’t one to be easily swept off her feet. Somehow, it seemed that with exams and university applications and pressure from her parents, everything had managed to build up into one big squall, and now, she felt like she was drifting. Just aimlessly.

Her bags were almost packed. Graduation was just around the corner. She was going to medical school. Everything was neat and tidy and in place and perfectly planned …

And Maki couldn’t stand it.

Everything was going the way it should, she was doing what she wanted, so why wasn’t she happy? She had a sort of restless energy bubbling up inside her, and as much as she tried to push it down, it kept resurfacing. No matter how hard she thought, she couldn’t place what was bothering her.

So, she chose not to mention her troubles to Rin and Hanayo (not that she tended to overshare anyway). If they noticed any changes in her demeanour, then they never mentioned it.  She wasn’t exactly full of sunshine. And she loved her friends, she really did, even if she rarely showed it, but they were probably the dictionary definition of ‘oblivious’. She could come into school dressed as a tomato and it would take them at least an hour to notice it.

Rin and Hanayo ran in their own little circle anyway, and sometimes Maki still couldn’t match their speed. It was better to ponder this alone – not even her fellow ex-idols could help. They were all far away anyway – sometimes Maki felt the lack of contact was partly her fault. It wasn’t her problem they had busy schedules. Still, she missed their voices.

So it was a surprise that two nights before graduation, at two in the morning, she heard her phone light up and vibrate resoundingly. The screen read ‘Eli’.

“Hello?” she asked, voice weary with insomnia. It had been months since they’d last spoken, and almost a year since they’d seen each other in person. She had no idea what this could be about. She was always under the impression that, out of all their friends, Eli liked her least.

“Can you get to Otonokizaka now?” Eli’s voice was definitely way too clear and upbeat for this time of night.

Maki rubbed her eyes once and walked across to open her bedroom door. Her parents were asleep, heavily so – they always were.

“It’s early,” she said plainly, not bothering to answer the question.

“So you’ll be there?”

Maki sighs. By the tone of Eli’s voice she could tell nothing was wrong, and part of her just wants to sleep. But another part, the half of her constantly on edge, is begging her to go.

It’s not as if she has anything more interesting to do.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

* * *

When she gets to the gates of the school, it is quiet, serene, and Eli is nowhere in sight. She’s not even sure if this is technically legal, but the gate is open, as if it was waiting for her. She supposes that’s Eli’s doing, and wonders why she’s going to all this trouble. If she wants to talk, they could have just stayed on the phone. Maki really doesn’t understand people and their constant need to see each other face to face all the time.

Right on cue, as she enters the grounds, her phone vibrates. A text from Eli, telling her to come to the roof. Her brow furrows. At least there are no smiley faces (Nico tends to abuse them way too much). Smiley faces really didn’t seem like Eli’s style at all.

Somehow all the doors are unlocked, and Maki feels sort of at peace as she walks through the empty school. She’s always been a night owl – something about the world at rest is so calming for her. Suddenly all her agitation seems worlds away, like something out of a dream, especially when she’s in school. Without Eli, she never would’ve discovered this. It’s a pity she won’t be able to trespass into her school ever again.

It takes a bit of effort to climb the ladder, seeing as she’s wearing flat shoes, but finally she reaches the rooftop. Eli is sitting almost dangerously close to the edge of the building, her legs delicately folded into her side. Everything about her always seemed so angelic to Maki – her golden hair, her crystal clear blue eyes, her stunning figure …

Secretly, Maki thought of her as almost too perfect. There had to be something about her that was weird, otherwise it was just slightly sad.

Maybe her weirdness was just being faultless.

Before Maki could think about it any longer, Eli turned around. She hadn’t changed much since Maki last saw her – her hair was a little shorter, but still in a lazy loose ponytail that she somehow managed to make look cool. Maki knew if she did her hair like that, it would look like she had a dead animal on her head. Other than that, she looked the same as when they last saw each other, in the summer of last year when the entire group hung out together. Maki didn’t think they’d spent any time alone together since before Eli’d graduated.

“Somehow, I knew despite your stubborn nature, that you’d show up.” Her voice was quiet, and Maki feels somewhat underwhelmed.

She scoffs. “I’m only here because it’s you.”

Eli smiles at her, a dazzling thing, and stands, walking over to great Maki. She has a bottle in her hand. With a shock, Maki realises she’s now taller that Eli by half a head. It feels strange to be looking down on someone she once considered so far above her. Swiftly the feeling of anxiety is back in the pit of her stomach like a wild growling beast lying in wait.

Eli looks up at her. “So tell me how growing up is going,” she says, leading Maki to the edge of the roof. They stare at the city, and the lights look so very far away to her. She can’t imagine how she ever thought them beautiful. Now, she just finds it slightly melancholic and otherworldly;  the feeling that there are thousands of people out there below her living and laughing and loving and dying is so achingly overwhelming she can’t bear to voice it out loud.

“It’s not going anywhere in particular,” she says, trying to act cool, but really all she can process is the way Eli’s eyes shined as they looked up at her, blue bathed in moonlight.

“I remember that feeling. It’s a bit like you’re lying down and there’s a weight pressing on your stomach, isn’t it?”

Maki turns sharply to face her, and the bottle clinks against her side. They way Eli described it sounded so similar to what Maki feels every day, and she’s almost rendered speechless.

Finally, she finds her voice again.

“Do you remember it well? Growing up?”

“Hmm?” Eli turns away from the stars and looks at Maki. “I suppose so. We all have to do it eventually. Most of us have a different way of going about it. Would you like a drink?” She changes the subject rapidly.

She looks down at the bottle. There’s red stars on it, and it’s in a language she can’t understand. The liquid is clear, and there’s a funny feeling in Maki’s stomach unrelated to growing up.

“What is it?”

“Pyatizvyozdnaya,” she says, and Maki has to double take. “It’s Russian vodka. Pretty strong stuff. If you’re growing up, you’re supposed to go out drinking loads and get drunk.” She sits down again, so very close to the edge. Maki follows.

“Is that what you did?” she asks. Eli shrugs.

“Of a sort.”

“You have some very questionable values. Underage drinking is no joke. As the former student council president I don’t think you should be condoning this,” Maki says semi-sarcastically as Eli unscrews the cap and hands her the bottle.

“But I’m the _former_ president. This means I can wave the rules goodbye. You’re almost eighteen anyway. It’s practically a _crime_ that you haven’t tried vodka yet,” Eli waves a hand casually and slides closer to Maki. After examining the bottle more closely she sees there’s definitely at least a quarter that’s already been drunk. She wonders how long Eli was up here before she decided to dial Maki’s number, and if she did this often before. If she was doing it last summer. And if she’ll do it with Maki again.

She takes a cautious sip.

Eli raises an eyebrow. _How does it taste_ , her face says.

“My insides are burning,” she states plainly.

Eli shrugs. “Occupational hazard.”

“Sometimes you don’t make sense, Eli.”

Eli hums noncommittally, turning to face the skyline again. Then, she suddenly lies down on her stomach, so close to the edge she’s almost hanging off. Her head is looking down.

“Come join me,” she says.

Maki takes another drink and sets the bottle down carefully, far away from them. The she crawls over to look down at the people below.

Eli’s face is so close, and her breath smells like vodka and a mixture of other alcohol. She wonders if Eli tastes like that too. Maybe she can make her insides burn even more.

“Isn’t it really weird? That all the people down there are people,” Eli mutters.

Maki nods, then realises Eli probably didn’t see that. So she chooses to mumble what she hopes serves as a reply.

“There’s a word for that. It’s called sonder. The realisation that every person you pass by on the street has their own individual life with hardships and celebrations.”

“I like that word.”

“Me too. Now roll over. Be careful.”

She does as Eli says. The stars seem bigger and more beautiful, and maybe it’s because there’s no one around but the two of them to look at them like this. Maki attempts to drink while lying down, then regrets it, sitting up.

“You like the stars,” Eli says. It’s not a question.

“I always have,” she replies.

Eli hums. “Me too. So are you enjoying your adult experience? I hope I haven’t disappointed.”

Maki chuckles an empty sound. “I don’t think you could ever disappoint anyone, Eli.”

“Those are big words.”

“Why did you call me tonight?” Maki asks. Eli sits up, takes the bottle from Maki’s hands, and takes a sip.

“Come here,” she says, her voice low and soft and inviting.

Maki complies, struggling a bit to find an angle until she finally ends up sat in between Eli’s legs, the space between them thin and tense. Eli’s body feels warm against her, their chests almost touching.

“Have you done this before?” Eli asks.

Maki shakes her head, as though she’s not really quite sure what Eli means, she has an idea of where this is going.

“Come here,” Eli repeats, and there’s a tiny bit of hesitation, of teenage awkwardness and noses bumping into each other, and then –

And then they are kissing, and while it’s something Maki never really had an interest in before, now that Eli’s lips are on her own she might change her mind. There is no more space between them, their bodies flush together, chests rising and falling in sync as they breathe as one.

Their lips move against each other for a few more seconds, Eli’s hand splayed wide against Maki’s cheek as she pulls them closer, even though there’s no way it could possibly happen.

Eli pulls away first. “That’s why,” she says breathlessly.

Eli really did make Maki’s insides burn, and her body felt heavy, but in a different way to before. She tasted like alcohol and something sweet but also sour, and Maki could feel an addiction developing.

“Oh,” Maki says stupidly, because she can’t think of anything more interesting to say. She’s currently feeling as if she’s in the middle of an out-of-body experience anyway, the sensation of Eli’s lips on her own lingering like a ghost.

They never moved any further away from each other, staying at the distance they were now – almost touching, with just enough space between them to feel the air. And to fit the bottle.

Eli drank from it. “Growing up doesn’t really stop.”

“Does the feeling go away?” Maki asked.

Eli paused, then shook her head. “Not really. I mean, sometimes. I guess you’ll have to wait and see.”

Maki sighed. “Tch. That sounds like a lot of waiting.”

Eli laughed, and in the silence of the night, it sounded more beautiful than the keys of the piano.

“You’ve always been impatient, Maki. Impatient and stubborn. And don’t try to deny it,” she said as she saw Maki’s mouth begin to open in protest.

“The wait’s really not that bad,” Eli muttered, and then her eyes were darting down to stare at Maki’s lips again. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t doing the same thing with Eli’s.

She drank from the bottle. “Eli, you aren’t really a responsible adult at all. So I’m not going to follow your advice.”

Eli shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’m coming to your graduation though. Just to laugh at you.”

“You’re not that mean,” Maki countered, and Eli nodded with a chuckle.

“You’re right.”

There was silence.

“Why did you kiss me?” Maki asked. It’s not something she normally would have asked but she guessed the alcohol was having an effect on her.

“Because I wanted to, and because you’re pretty. Also I’m drunk,” Eli replied casually.

“So you only think I’m pretty when you’re drunk?” Maki asked.

Eli’s brow furrowed. “No, I – Dumbass, you’re teasing me. Looks like someone’s not getting kissed again.”

This made Maki falter. “You were going to do it again?”

After a moment, as if she was internally debating with herself, Eli nodded. “I might have wanted to from the beginning.”

“Of the night?” Maki asked, her heart in her throat.

Eli shook her head, looking away from the other girl. “Go further back,” she said in a small voice.

“Oh,” Maki said; she was unable to reply with anything else. Suddenly she became aware of the lack of distance between them, and the way she wanted, desperately, to taste Eli’s lips once again.

Somewhat awkwardly, she touched the side of Eli’s face reverently, splaying her fingers in an effort to copy the older girl’s action from before.

Eli looked at her, the stars reflected in her eyes, and Maki felt like the weight on her stomach was a little bit lighter now.

Or maybe it was just the alcohol.

“Come here,” Maki said, and this time there was no hesitation.


End file.
